Rewind

Growing up / lapsing into routine / consumed by work / rat race / endless pursuits

Rewind // endless hours of hanging out // trance music // simple pleasures // being carefree

Now and then, regression is a balm to a weary soul

Release

"Pain is the release of weakness from the body". That pertains to the physical front. On the mental side, October was draining but fulfilling. Looking forward to a rejuvenating November in my favorite city in Asia. 楽しみにしょう！

Veneer

She said to me tonight, "I don't like you when you are intoxicated". I sobered up with a start. This was one of the last things I expected to hear after a nice 5 course dinner and wine with friends we've both known for years. I held my tongue, and I took it in during the rest of my journey back.

Thoughts.

How much of a relationship is compromise, how much requires work, how much demands sacrifice? We are all painfully clear that nothing comes without a cost. The extroverted dreams that fiery Aries used to have, his passion and his drive, unknowingly routed by the introverted water sign Scorpio. Yet he does this willingly, for he knows that there are certain gifts that he must treasure. Even so, there are nights like these where doubt creeps in and he turns in, unsure like a wandering nomad ascertaining his bearings.

0231 a.m. 02102010

Fade

This is not how young men are supposed to go. We lose them to war, we lose them to the lure of emigration but we never expect to lose them this way. Rest in peace bro, I'm sorry I didn't keep in touch much after law school. :(

Insecurities

Sometimes we doubt ourselves.

Am I cut out for this. Am I brilliant enough. Am I talented enough. Do I have what it takes. Why am I so farking tired all the time.

A mentor said to me: "I am certain you are capable of better"

A fellow litigator and dear friend said to me: "tenacity is the most important attribute of a litigator, not how smart the person is. the ability to be organised and analyse things, and a certain gumption to stay on course even when the odds are against you. strength of character."

A doctor and confidante said to me: "your health is important"


At 2 a.m. not knowing the answers to the multitude of issues - No one said it was going to be easy, but roll over and die i will NOT.

Defiance

Over the weekend i read some articles in various magazines about chasing dreams, entrepreneurs quitting their lawyering/finance/corporate life to pursue what they feel strongly in life. I thought to myself, what happened for my passion for lomography, my obsession with the aviation industry, my love for music? Smothered. Work and family/friends have become so all-consuming that some days (or rather, early mornings after midnight) the only thing I look forward to is the bed I sleep in. Yes, everything is a choice, and I chose many moons ago to do this, but time and again I have to remind myself why I am here doing this when i can be anywhere else in the world doing what I love. No grudges, just an undeniable need to justify, mostly to myself, that this is worth it.

Lights

I sense a calling, but I give myself [. ] amount of time to consider it.